The best-laid plans...

It sounded like a nice idea at the end of May... Thoughts of a slow and happy summer, sunny afternoons spent in the backyard with the kids running around in the sprinkler...Not to say that the past two months haven't been filled with some of those sweet nostalgic moments. But the reality is that they were often completely overshadowed by a frenetic pace of life that I had previously sworn off, and clearly evidenced by my lack of posting on this blog since June 3rd!

And the reason that we're all finally getting back into the routine? HJ started summer school this week. Thank the Lord for summer school! I was so proud of how she jumped right back in, even though the classes were being held in a new building and she hadn't seen her teacher and the other kids in two months. The only glitch was trying to get her on the school bus ... Didn't quite work out, but I keep telling myself  -- "She's only four!" On the other hand, I also find myself thinking, "Wow! She's already four years old!" I remember when she came home from Korea, she was almost the same age Lila is now... And now she's old enough to go on a school bus by herself?? As another mom told me, The days are long but the years are short... So true!

So today as I picked her up after another failed attempt at the bus, we were driving home and I hear her turn to Lila and say very seriously, "Lila, do you like Mommy best or Daddy?" What??! How does she come up with these things?? Good thing Lila can't really talk yet... Otherwise, I'm pretty sure Lila would reply with, "Da-da!" her first and favorite word.

A few other "grown-up" things HJ likes to say lately... Calling Daddy "Sol" and Mommy "Angela" -- as in, "Sol! Where are you??" And, "An-gee-laaa! Can you help me??" Sol and I both looked at each other the first time HJ said these phrases and wondered, Is this the only thing we say to each other these days??!

Another frequent quote of HJ's lately, "I have a rough days. I have ezcemas on my skin." Poor baby girl. You know it's bad when she's saying "I have a rough day" and it's only 8:30 in the morning!

And I'm sure other moms feel this way too, but just as much as HJ is struggling between wanting to do everything all by herself, and yet still being babied, I'm struggling with wanting her to be more independent in some things, and not wanting to let go of my baby girl in other ways... Seriously, the whole school bus thing was giving me major panic attacks... I kept telling Sol, "I don't know about HJ, but I don't think I can do this!" I contemplated following the school bus, I had dreams about going on the school bus with her, I couldn't stop talking to her teacher and other parents about the bus, and finally, when I saw the teacher walking out with HJ after school, saying, "Sorry, she just kept saying she didn't want to go on the bus..." you can bet I let out a little sigh of relief!

Sometimes when she is having a tantrum or "rough day," I've gotten myself into the habit of holding her and asking, "Are you my baby girl? Are you Mommy's baby girl?" I know... it's probably not the best choice of words! But for some reason, whenever we have this exchange, she always calms down and looks at me with a little smile and nods, and suddenly, all is better with the world....