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HJ is very emphatic with her words and facial expressions, hand gestures, body language, tone of voice, etc... So even though she is delayed in her speech, Sol and I were just commenting that she's pretty good at communicating in other ways so she gets her point across pretty well.
So just imagine HJ saying, over and over again, in a very loud, very serious voice, with her eyes really big, and her head nodding up and down with each word, and her little hands outstretched, imploringly, "MOMMY. I CAN'T FIND YOU! I CAN'T FIND YOU AT THE Y!!!"
This has been my reality for the past couple weeks. Why did I do this to myself, I have to ask several times a day, when HJ starts "MOMMY. I CAN'T FIND YOU..."
What happened was I signed up for a groupon for a 3 month membership at the YMCA. Again, another one of those things where I thought, Great! I can finally exercise and not pay $90 a month at Lifetime and still get free babysitting for a couple hours.
The thing is, the first time I went to Zumba, it shockingly went even better than I could have hoped for. I had taken HJ and Lila to see the childcare room a few days in advance. I showed HJ the toys that they had, the Barbie dollhouse, the puzzles, the little fisher price school bus... She was actually excited. So the day I wanted to try it out, we went early, got snacks, and HJ sat down and colored the whole time and Lila amazingly did not cry or fuss at all. And I got to exercise, without the kids... A miracle.... Of course this was too good to be true...
The next week I thought since everything had gone so well previously, that I should try a Pilates class with my friend. Couple things were working against me though. #1) The class started at 6:30 p.m., which meant I had to rush to feed the kids beforehand and #2) HJ kept saying, Mommy, no exercising! I don't want to go to the Y. Yes, bad parent that I am, I decided that HJ would be fine once we got to the Y and she saw the place where she had so much fun before, and I put the kids in the car and we went anyway.
Ok, I guess there were more than a couple things working against me... When we got to the parking lot, HJ still did not want to get out, so I basically had to bribe her by saying she could pick a snack from the vending machine, and she happily changed her mind. She got her snack and we went to the childcare room, and it was PACKED. Last time, HJ and Lila were the only kids. Another bad sign, but I decided we had made it this far and I wasn't turning back... So I said bye, have fun, Daddy will meet you here after work, and left for the class. No tears at this point, and I thought all was well...
Now I assumed the Pilates class would be meeting right across the hall, in the room which has a wall of windows where you can see everyone in the class. I told Sol if there was any drama with the kids, he could just come and get me. Turns out the class was moved to another room where there were no windows, and it was a bit further away from the childcare room...Yes, another bad sign that I ignored...
About halfway into the class, I hear the distinct wailing and screaming, of not just one, but yes, both of my children... I left the room to find them in the hallway, with poor Sol, struggling to get HJ in her winter jacket and Lila trying to break free from the infant carseat that is really too small for her at this point and probably contributing to her protesting so loudly every time we put her in it...I could see that HJ was about to really lose it and pretty much throw herself on the ground, so I quickly picked her up and said, "Mommy's here, what's wrong?"
According to Sol, the kids were fine until he came to pick them up. I mistakenly had not explained clearly enough to HJ that when Daddy came he was coming to take them home, and that Mommy would meet them at home later. So problem #1-- HJ did not want to leave without me. And Problem #2 -- they didn't know where I was.
Still holding HJ, I went back to the Pilates room, and tried to gather my things without making a scene... The teacher looked at me sympathetically and said, "That's ok... Maybe it will go better next time?" I smiled and nodded, but I was really thinking, not likely...
We made it home and I was helping HJ out of the carseat when she stopped and looked at me with big, fat tears in her eyes and said it for the first time, "MOMMY. I CAN'T FIND YOU! I CAN'T FIND YOU AT THE Y!" And she started wailing again and threw her arms around my neck. Seriously. Dagger in my heart. Mommy guilt to the max...
And I kid you not, for the past two weeks, this phrase has been repeated, randomly, several times a day, to make sure that I do not forget that Mommy, your daughter could not find you at the Y, and she is still not over the traumatic experience and she does not want you to ever forget it... Sigh... So much for trying to save some money, exercise, and have a little time to myself... I guess it's back to running through the mall with my giant double stroller, both kids in tow, as usual...
HJ (and mommy's) Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Thursday, February 16, 2012
I think I have sufficiently recovered from the stress of last Friday to look back and laugh... a little.. .Or maybe it will serve as a warning to me the next time I delude myself into thinking I can do a million things when I am dragging around a very sensitive 3.5 year old and a 7 month old who doesn't like her carseat...
The morning started off with a LONG evaluation for HJ to see if she needs any additional therapies and switch preschools from her small, cozy, 2 day a week Lutheran church program to the 4 day a week intensive special-ed class at the public preschool. Honestly I was more nervous than HJ, who probably was just annoyed that these strangers were asking her to do basic things like count to ten, identify shapes and colors and body parts and put together a tower of blocks. Every time they asked her to do something, she kind of looked at them like, "Yea I can do this but I don't want to right now and you can't make me..."
I have to give credit to the speech therapist who found all kinds of creative ways to get her to participate, mainly by convincing her that she was playing a game rather than being tested. So after over an hour of Pinkalicious dolls counting candles on cupcakes and princess stickers stuck all over Curious George, we raced off to our next activity-- "Stroller Steps" as HJ likes to call it.
Now I would gladly have skipped the class after the long and drawn-out evaluation, but HJ doesn't like having her routine upset, and Friday mornings means "Stroller Steps" at the mall with "baby Mitchell." I grabbed our giant double stroller, loaded it up with snacks and exercise bands and all the other stuff that HJ needs for security, and we literally ran through the mall looking for the other moms and strollers. They're pretty hard to miss, and we eventually joined up and finished a surprisingly tough class of lunges and jumping jacks and singing Old McDonald had a farm...
I tried to be a good mom and pack some healthy snacks for HJ and Lila, but after finishing them off and eating baby Mitchell's snacks too, HJ decided she really needed a Mcdonald's hash brown. Against my better judgment I got her the hashbrown and then we booked it to our next activity, Korean class.
Up until now it hadn't been that bad of a day, but things from here went downhill pretty quickly. To get to Korean class, which was in the city, meant taking the highway, which for some reason HJ says is "scary" and "too fast" (Sol asked her if it was just mommy's driving that was too fast, but HJ said it was both mommy and daddy so I was a little bit redeemed there!). Being in the city meant no parking which meant walking pretty far lugging the 30 lb carseat (b/c I didn't have the snap-and-go with me b/c of previously mentioned giant double stroller taking up our entire trunk) and HJ carrying her hashbrown and her numerous bags of stuff while cars whizzed by us.
Got to Korean class late, and it was our first day, so HJ was really staring down the nice Korean teacher and refusing to participate in her nice Korean songs and games. Lila, on the other hand, was having a ball with all the stimulation, but all I could keep thinking was I probably need to nurse her before we leave and get back on the scary, too fast highway. Apple juice and crackers after class seemed like the perfect break for HJ, who have you noticed, never says no to snacks. But being so distracted with Lila and another 8 month old sibling who was HUGE compared to little Lila by the way, I sat HJ on a high table and stool to eat her crackers. The next thing I know, there is a huge crash and HJ (and chair) are toppled on the floor and HJ is wailing. Granted, it was a pretty tall stool and a long way down, but if you don't know HJ, she is a DRAMA queen under even the most normal of circumstances so you can only imagine the loud crying that ensued from this incident.
HJ got a purple lollipop and that seemed to distract her enough to get us out the door, until we were back in the car and she decided she needed a different color lollipop, not purple. At this point I seriously debated going back and getting another lollipop just to avoid an hour of crying on the highway, but HJ managed to calm down enough so that wasn't necessary. Phew.
Basically, we made it home in one piece, but we did have to stop at McDonald's again (yes I know, two times in one day, really bad) and I decided that Korean class in the city is too much for us at this time. It's too bad because I really loved the idea of HJ learning Korean with her friends who are also adopted, but that will have to go on the list of things that sound good in theory but in reality don't quite work out (i.e. ballet class..)
Ever since this day, HJ has been re-enacting her dramatic fall from the chair numerous times for Daddy's benefit... Now I wish I could say that we will never have such a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day again, but I can already think of another day that probably falls in this category... I will have to save that for another post since I am already getting exhausted from recounting this one...
The morning started off with a LONG evaluation for HJ to see if she needs any additional therapies and switch preschools from her small, cozy, 2 day a week Lutheran church program to the 4 day a week intensive special-ed class at the public preschool. Honestly I was more nervous than HJ, who probably was just annoyed that these strangers were asking her to do basic things like count to ten, identify shapes and colors and body parts and put together a tower of blocks. Every time they asked her to do something, she kind of looked at them like, "Yea I can do this but I don't want to right now and you can't make me..."
I have to give credit to the speech therapist who found all kinds of creative ways to get her to participate, mainly by convincing her that she was playing a game rather than being tested. So after over an hour of Pinkalicious dolls counting candles on cupcakes and princess stickers stuck all over Curious George, we raced off to our next activity-- "Stroller Steps" as HJ likes to call it.
Now I would gladly have skipped the class after the long and drawn-out evaluation, but HJ doesn't like having her routine upset, and Friday mornings means "Stroller Steps" at the mall with "baby Mitchell." I grabbed our giant double stroller, loaded it up with snacks and exercise bands and all the other stuff that HJ needs for security, and we literally ran through the mall looking for the other moms and strollers. They're pretty hard to miss, and we eventually joined up and finished a surprisingly tough class of lunges and jumping jacks and singing Old McDonald had a farm...
I tried to be a good mom and pack some healthy snacks for HJ and Lila, but after finishing them off and eating baby Mitchell's snacks too, HJ decided she really needed a Mcdonald's hash brown. Against my better judgment I got her the hashbrown and then we booked it to our next activity, Korean class.
Up until now it hadn't been that bad of a day, but things from here went downhill pretty quickly. To get to Korean class, which was in the city, meant taking the highway, which for some reason HJ says is "scary" and "too fast" (Sol asked her if it was just mommy's driving that was too fast, but HJ said it was both mommy and daddy so I was a little bit redeemed there!). Being in the city meant no parking which meant walking pretty far lugging the 30 lb carseat (b/c I didn't have the snap-and-go with me b/c of previously mentioned giant double stroller taking up our entire trunk) and HJ carrying her hashbrown and her numerous bags of stuff while cars whizzed by us.
Got to Korean class late, and it was our first day, so HJ was really staring down the nice Korean teacher and refusing to participate in her nice Korean songs and games. Lila, on the other hand, was having a ball with all the stimulation, but all I could keep thinking was I probably need to nurse her before we leave and get back on the scary, too fast highway. Apple juice and crackers after class seemed like the perfect break for HJ, who have you noticed, never says no to snacks. But being so distracted with Lila and another 8 month old sibling who was HUGE compared to little Lila by the way, I sat HJ on a high table and stool to eat her crackers. The next thing I know, there is a huge crash and HJ (and chair) are toppled on the floor and HJ is wailing. Granted, it was a pretty tall stool and a long way down, but if you don't know HJ, she is a DRAMA queen under even the most normal of circumstances so you can only imagine the loud crying that ensued from this incident.
HJ got a purple lollipop and that seemed to distract her enough to get us out the door, until we were back in the car and she decided she needed a different color lollipop, not purple. At this point I seriously debated going back and getting another lollipop just to avoid an hour of crying on the highway, but HJ managed to calm down enough so that wasn't necessary. Phew.
Basically, we made it home in one piece, but we did have to stop at McDonald's again (yes I know, two times in one day, really bad) and I decided that Korean class in the city is too much for us at this time. It's too bad because I really loved the idea of HJ learning Korean with her friends who are also adopted, but that will have to go on the list of things that sound good in theory but in reality don't quite work out (i.e. ballet class..)
Ever since this day, HJ has been re-enacting her dramatic fall from the chair numerous times for Daddy's benefit... Now I wish I could say that we will never have such a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day again, but I can already think of another day that probably falls in this category... I will have to save that for another post since I am already getting exhausted from recounting this one...
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